⚽️ How to Deal with Overwhelm?

26th Jumada-I 1447H

Assalamu'alaikum,

Imagine you're a football player in the World Cup final. Your team is in the penalty shootouts, and you're given the last ball to shoot.

If you score, your team and country win the World Cup. If you miss, you'll lose everything you and your team have worked for, and live with that shame and guilt for the rest of your life.

Imagine the pressure and overwhelm. How do you handle it?

Okay, I'm daydreaming. Most of us won't be in that situation. However, every now and then, we'll face a high-stakes situation that overwhelms us. A situation where our performance matters, where years of practice and hard work get tested, and where it's so easy to panic, falter, and miss the goal.

Whether it's giving a career-defining presentation, negotiating a critical deal for your company, or discussing a delicate subject with your child or parent, that could make or break your relationship, these are your penalty shootout moments.

How do you handle that feeling of overwhelm?

Most of us think we need to develop "mental toughness" and a steel-like mind to handle such pressure. But perhaps there's an easier way, a way that's based on the Barakah Culture Manifesto I wrote a few years ago.

Three Key Ideas from Barakah Culture Manifesto to Help You Deal with Overwhelm:

1. Life is Not About You, It's About Serving Your Lord with Excellence

Whenever I stand on stage and I'm about to present, I still get the butterflies and the anxiety of public speaking, no matter how many years I've done this. The same thoughts race through my mind: "What if I mess up?" "What if no one understands me?" "What if this falls flat?"

I've found that the only way to release that tension is remind myself that this presentation isn't about me; it's about what Allah wants from me.

When Allah ﷻ asked Musa and Haroon (peace be upon them) to go to Pharaoh, they pleaded:

قَالَا رَبَّنَآ إِنَّنَا نَخَافُ أَن يَفْرُطَ عَلَيْنَآ أَوْ أَن يَطْغَىٰ 

“Our Lord! We fear that he may be quick to harm us or act tyrannically,” (Ta-Ha 20:45)

Allah reassured them:

قَالَ لَا تَخَافَآ ۖ إِنَّنِى مَعَكُمَآ أَسْمَعُ وَأَرَىٰ 

“He said, ‘Do not be afraid, I am with you both, hearing and seeing everything.” (Ta-Ha 20:46)

When you step up to a situation and all you're thinking about is yourself, your reputation, and your self-image, you’ll feel overwhelmed and most probably perform poorly. But when you do things for Allah SWT, the pressure lifts. You're no longer carrying the weight of the world. You're simply fulfilling your role.

2. Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome

This morning, one of my friends who was researching penalty shootout training told me an interesting fact: coaches who train their players for penalty shootouts focus their players on the process of scoring, not the outcome.

They are trained over and over again on key steps: deciding where to shoot the ball before approaching it, focusing on the ball and not the goalkeeper, maintaining their run-up rhythm, etc. This constant drill on the process is what helps them stay calm in those high-stakes situations because they've prepared for this moment many times before.

Similarly, when you're overwhelmed with work, kids, and a big project, remember to focus on the process. Break down your overwhelming project into your "penalty shootout process": How can you prepare? What can you do today to make progress? What's the next step?

3. Trust Allah with the Results

This is the key difference between those who get overwhelmed and those who don't. The overwhelmed are too consumed with the results and outcomes that are beyond their control. But when you realize that you don't actually control the results, it becomes easier to enjoy the process and accept whatever results as "khair" even if it's not to your liking.

If you've done your best and still missed the mark, you may have 'failed' in the eyes of the world. But in the eyes of Allah, you've fulfilled your obligation to the best of your ability. He saw your preparation and your hard work.

Think of Nuh (peace be upon him), calling his people to Allah for 950 years, and only a few people believed in his message at the end. Even his own son didn’t believe in his message. In human standards, we’d say he “failed his mission”, but in Allah’s eyes, he’s considered one of the most determined prophets.

When you truly internalize this, overwhelm loses its power. You're no longer carrying the burden of results that were never yours to guarantee in the first place. And most likely, you’ll perform way better than when you are stressed about the results.

So, how will you handle your next penalty shootout moment?

Next time you have a high-stakes situation like an exam, presentation, or important family conversation, remind yourself:

1. This is not about me, but doing what Allah wants from me.

2. I need to practice, prepare, and follow the process.

3. I need to detach from the results.

I pray this is helpful, and I haven't overwhelmed you with my emails :).

Sincerely,