"Who will you worship after me?"

23rd RabiʻII 1447H

Assalamu'alaikum,

A few days ago, I felt the weight of fatherhood pressed down on my chest as I was praying Maghrib with my son.

This wasn't the usual parental worry about grades, careers, bullies, or bad behavior.

I was concerned about his akhira.

I remembered Prophet Yaqub (peace be upon him) on his deathbed, gathering his children around him with one final, urgent question:

“....Who will you worship after my passing…” (Quran 2:133)

Prophet Yaqub knew his children were believers, but he wasn't asking if they knew that Allah was their Lord; he was asking if they would live it. “Will you truly live as slaves of Allah when I'm gone?"

This is the question that haunted me, as I prayed next to my son. I kept thinking:

• Will he be ready to carry the weight of this Deen, from the five daily prayers to learning and living the Shariah in all aspects of his life?

• Will he turn to the Quran and Sunnah for guidance when life gets confusing or when he faces tough challenges?

• Will he care for his Ummah and remember that our loyalty to our Ummah transcends loyalty to country, tribe, or ethnic group?

• Will he have the courage to choose Allah and His Messenger when the whole world pressures him to compromise?

After having a mini-panic attack, I realized I can't control who my son will become.

Prophet Nuh (peace be upon him) called his people for 950 years, but his own son didn't believe in him.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) couldn't save his beloved uncle.

This paradox is at the heart of every Muslim parent. On one hand, we have tremendous responsibility to provide the tarbiyah, model the right behavior, and create an environment where our children’s spirituality flourishes. The Prophet ﷺ said: "Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock" (Bukhari & Muslim). But on the other hand, we need to trust that guidance (hidayah) ultimately comes from Allah alone.

We can do everything "right" and still, our children may struggle. Or we may feel inadequate in our parenting, yet Allah may guide our children in ways we never imagined.

So, what can we do?

I'm not a parenting expert, and I'm sure there are better experts who can advise, but here are some thoughts:

1. We need to model, not just teach.

Our children need to see us living our faith, not just talking about it. When they see us making Salah a priority, when they hear us reciting the Quran often, when they watch us choose the halal even when it's harder, these memories will plant something in their hearts insha’Allah.

2. Make Dua Constantly

Guidance is from Allah; therefore, our most powerful tool is dua. We should turn our worries and concerns into fuel to make heartfelt dua for our children. 

3. Create Moments of Spiritual Connection

As parents, we invest a lot in our kids' education and fun activities; we need to invest in regular spiritual habits.

Whether it’s praying together, reading the Quran together, discussing the Seerah together, talking about current events through an Islamic lens, or creating space for spiritual conversations that go beyond "did you pray?"

4. Teach Them to Access Guidance

We won't always be there to answer their questions or guide them through challenges. So we need to teach them how to access Divine guidance directly:

• How to find answers to their spiritual questions or life challenges in the Quran and Sunnah (including which websites/resources to use) 

• How to pray istikhara when confused about a life decision (whether buying that toy they want, or which college to go to)

• How to find good friends who remind them of Allah and the Akhira.

Finally, as parents, we need to accept that the world will try to pull our children away from Islam. There will be peer pressure, desires, doubts, and countless fitnahs (even as adults, we’re struggling, imagine our kids!).

But we need to trust that if we've planted the seeds and made sincere dua, Allah will protect what we've cultivated insha’Allah. 

May Allah ﷻ bless our children, preserve them, guide them, keep them steadfast, and use them for the benefit of His Ummah. May Allah ﷻ unite us all on the Day of Judgement in Jannah. Ameen.

If you're a parent reading this, I encourage you to do three things this weekend:

1. If you don't already, pray one salah with your child and then make dua together afterwards.

2. Have one deep conversation about faith, purpose of life, akhira, or their relationship with Allah, and how you can help them in their spiritual journey.

3. In your next sujood, make a specific dua for each of your children.

And if you're not a parent yet, pray for righteous offspring from now. It's never too late.

Sincerely,

P.S. If this newsletter resonated with you, please forward it to another Muslim parent who might benefit from this reflection. We're all in this together, striving to raise the next generation of righteous believers insha'Allah.