💚 You're Never Really Alone

15th RabiʻI 1447H

Assalamu'alaikum,

I went to a wedding over the weekend, one of those weddings where I only knew the groom.

I arrived early, and as the other guests trickled in, I didn't recognize anybody. 

Being an introvert, I found myself a quiet corner and... just stood there.

Instead of reaching for my phone (my usual social anxiety crutch), I challenged myself to engage in remembering God, and started doing Istighfar.

At first, I felt awkward. I was self-conscious about being that guy standing alone, seemingly muttering to himself while everyone else mingled.

But after a few minutes. I relaxed. I actually began to enjoy this private moment with Allah ﷻ.

The verse came to mind: 

فَٱذْكُرُونِىٓ أَذْكُرْكُمْ وَٱشْكُرُوا۟ لِى وَلَا تَكْفُرُونِ

“remember Me; I will remember you. And thank Me, and never be ungrateful.” (Quran 2:152)

About 20-30 minutes into this quiet dhikr (remembrance), a young man walked purposefully toward me. 

"Assalamu alaikum," he said with genuine curiosity. "You look lonely. How are you? What are you working on these days?"

I smiled. "Wa alaikum assalam, alhamdulillah, I'm well. I wasn't alone, I was remembering Allah."

What followed was one of the most enriching conversations I'd had in a while. This brother turned out to be a philosopher, and our discussion became an unexpected gift that I now recognize as part of the barakah of those quiet moments of istighfar.

The Void Only Allah Can Fill

We live in a world where we're deeply uncomfortable being alone.

The moment we find ourselves alone, we instinctively reach for our phones, desperate to fill the silence with something, anything but our own thoughts.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) described it perfectly when he wrote about the heart's inherent "wahshah" - a restlessness or void that cannot be filled by any human companionship - in his book "Uddat as-Sabireen wa Dhakhirat ash-Shakireen" (Provisions for the Patient and Treasury for the Grateful):

"In the heart there is anxiety that nothing can calm except drawing close to Allah. In it is a loneliness that nothing can remove except closeness with Him in solitude. In it is sadness that nothing can dispel except the joy of knowing Him and sincerity in worship. In it is a restlessness that nothing can settle except gathering the heart upon Him and fleeing from Him to Him..."

There's an important distinction we need to understand: loneliness and solitude are not the same thing.

• Loneliness is feeling disconnected, empty, and anxious even when surrounded by people. It's that restless seeking for something external to fill the void.

• Solitude, on the other hand, is choosing to be alone with intention and finding peace in that choice. It's recognizing that in our quiet moments with Allah ﷻ, we're actually in the best company possible.

Think about it: you can be surrounded by the most amazing people in the world and still feel lonely. You can be at the most exciting event and still feel empty.

The answer to that 'something' isn't more entertainment, connection, or stimulation. It's the recognition that our hearts were created to find their rest in Allah ﷻ alone.

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ

“those who believe and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah. Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort.” (Quran 13:28).

In fact, our five daily prayers, and the extra voluntary prayers like tahajjud, are specifically designed to address this wahshah, to give our hearts regular opportunities to find their true home.

The Barakah of Intentional Solitude

I'm not advocating for antisocial behavior or deliberately avoiding meaningful connections. That wonderful conversation with the philosopher was itself a gift from Allah. 

But here's what I learned: when you find yourself unexpectedly alone (waiting at an appointment, standing in line, or yes, at a wedding where you don't know anyone) you have a choice: 

1. You can feel lonely and scroll through your phone, feeding the restlessness even further

2. OR you can embrace these rare moments of solitude as opportunities for the heart to reconnect with its Creator.

The next time you're alone and tempted to check your phone, pause. Instead:

• Make istighfar (seeking Allah's forgiveness)

• Send salawat upon Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

• Simply say "SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, La ilaha illa Allah, Allahu Akbar"

These precious moments of solitude, when invested in remembrance of Allah, will reduce anxiety, improve focus, and increase our capacity for genuine connection with others.

When we learn to be content in Allah's company, we stop desperately seeking validation from every notification, every social interaction, every external stimulus. We become people who carry peace within us, ready to offer that same tranquility to others.

May Allah grant us the wisdom to find Him in our solitude and the ability to choose His remembrance over our distractions. Ameen.

Sincerely,

P.S. This Thursday, I'll be teaching the 3rd cohort of the Barakah Effect course, insha’Allah. This course helps professionals connect spirituality to their personal and professional development through the Barakah Effect framework. Join us!